Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Today was the day that seems to happen to everyone at some point when they're moving. It's the day where you wake up and goof off and run errands and sometime around 11:00 am you're sitting and drinking tea just as cozy as Alistair Cooke when it hits you, "Hey, I've got a lot of packing to do."
Then you spend the next twelve hours lifting with your back instead of your legs and generally wearing your self far past being worn out.
The trailer arrived today. It looked small at first, but as I packed I've come to realize that I'll most likely only use about half of it.
I've moved my fish into the front room so I could pack the shelf he's been on. My room is eerily silent now.
Yod brought over the shelving unit from Phish this evening. I wish I could have talked with him longer but it was dinner time and Nissa had just called and much much more to pack. Great googly moogly.
I ate like Henry the VIII. I ate like a farmer. Flashed back to Sweetwater days. Forgot how much manual labor makes me shovel heavy food down my gullet.
But the good new is that I'm about 90% there. Maybe a little less than 90% but around that area. I've got probably less than a half an hour's work left to do on my inventory. Then it's just clothes and furniture.
I should drink some more water now. And maybe some more tea. Pick up where I left off. Sit in my armchair and talk to the camera like Alistair Cooke (although I usually slip into my James Mason when I try and do that.)

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

One of the cool things about major life changes is that people give you a bunch of things. I've noticed that about weddings, which is kind of the jackpot of people giving you things. Better than birthdays. It's like a giant birthday with a lot of stress on top.
But moving gets you a reasonable amount of new stuff. Which is good because it serves to replace all the stuff you're getting rid of. You don't actually have to have less stuff, just different and hopefully more useful stuff.
Today started with my mom buying me some valerian and not wanting me to pay her back for it. Neat. Then Phish gave me a lava lamp. Red and purple. Gorgeous. I've always wanted a lava lamp and now I can be reminded of my Ardinger friends while I have one more much needed source of warmth in the cold Chico room. Charles gave me a mix tape for my drive up. Charles makes the wiggidy whacked mix tapes. I expect some champagne music mixed with some really twisted things that should be good for about hour five of looking at nothing on the 5 freeway. Make me start howling like a lunatic, screaming at cows, that sort of thing.
Yod gave me a printer. My father mentioned a printer that he had that is a lazer printer that doesn't do black ink. So if I were to try and print my invoices, I would have to copy them offline, take them into Microsoft Word, highlight them, change the color of the letters to dark blue or something, and print. Yod offered me a Tandy dot matix printer. It's old and it prints with a ribbon and it makes a lot of noise, but it works. It will be perfect because the invoices are the only thing I really need to print and the invoices are about the only thing that it would print.

I'd like to do a review of the graphic novel The Watchmen, which I just finished. But I don't expect to have the luxury of enough time to do so for about a week. By then I imagine I'll have forgotten what I wanted to say about it. Yeah, just as a warning, I have my orders set to hold starting tomorrow through next thursday (if I'm not back online by then there's something wrong.) It's possible that this Thursday to next might be postless. I just don't know.
All I know is that my stereo and most of my cds are packed and that feels very strange.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Arrr. Tis a fell wind brewing in the west. I'm like Mary Poppins. I leave when the wind changes.

I didn't get enough to sleep last night, which might have effected me today as you shall read in the day's narrative below presently.

In my goodbyes, my leavings, my closing of chapters I try to be as detached as possible. Hide's gotten thick over the years. Rhinoceros. Too many bad endings and too many people saying "See you later" who I end up never seeing again.
So this whole process of moving I've tried to approach with the same arm's distance I'd normally give to goodbyes. Just keep moving. That kind of thing.
Tonight that fell apart a little. Something I knew I still had but hadn't even been thinking of came into my hands as I was clearing a shelf that I'm trying to load into the truck. I came across the small box that has the ring in it. The ring that I was going to give to Nissa when I asked her to marry me.
I don't know if this added to it, but she called to chat today right while I was in the middle of doing my taxes. It broke my heart to ask her to call back because I love to talk with her, she rarely calls, I can't call her and I knew she wouldn't call me back. I was right. But I had work to do.
I took a long walk tonight to clear my head and pick up a gallon of milk. I thought that part of the reason I'm moving on is because this place is so saturated with memories for me, many of them ones I don't always want in the forefront of my mind. It's interesting how I've shot my memory so much with booze and drugs, but if I'm driving by a place where we made out or had a fight it all comes back to me. So I'll talk a lot about how I'm moving because there's no reason for me not to and because it's an exciting new adventure. But there are also other reasons that I don't usually mention.
Then I got in the car to go to the Liquid Den with all of that still on my mind and listening to my favorite Kate Bush song, which happens to be Cloudbusting. And then it hit me that there are two ways I can do this. I can move all sad and sentimental, crying every few hours. Or I can have fun and enjoy the excitement.
I'm glad I'm the person I am now and not the person I was when I was with Nissa, or even the person I was six months ago. Six months ago that choice in ways of dealing with this move probably wouldn't have even occured to me and I probably would have just fallen into the negative out of habit.

Then I went to the Liquid Den and traded Lob cds for the Dead show I saw back in September. I'm listening to it right now. S'good.
Tomorrow I'm going to see my grandmother and I've got a few packing goals I've set. I'd really like to have all of my inventory boxed before the trailer comes so I can just load up when it gets here. But I don't believe I have enough boxes at all at all.

So much stuff to throw away too. I'm not throwing the ring away. It cost me a sailor's buttload. I'm going to leave it at my folk's place down here where I'm leaving a lot of my stuff. Stuff that I won't need in the near future but I don't feel okay throwing out. Maybe someday the right person for the ring will come along. Or maybe I'll be opening a box in 25 years and wondering where the crap this beautiful ring came from.

Sentimental creampuff I am.