Sunday, August 08, 2004

Something screwy is happening to my browser or my blog. My profile is gone and so are most of my recent postings. So let's get on to my other rant and see if that jogs things back into order, eh what?
Yesterday was Faith's birthday party. Pat got me up early (yeah, if you're paying attention that makes three consecutive days of getting up early) to help move tables and things. There were a lot of kids. It was at Andi's parent's place.
Andi's stepdad is a good man, but a really dumb Republican who buys any piece of Republican propaganda no matter how sloppy. That's okay. My dad is the same way. He was saying that he was going to knock on a neighbor's door who had a Kerry cardboard sign on their lawn and tell them how Mrs. Kerry contributes to terrorist organizations. He said he'd read an article on it. I didn't say anything. Then when Pat and I borrowed his truck to take the tables back to Pat's church, the article magically appeared on the passenger seat.
It was awful. It was one of the worst pieces of writing I've read in a long time. It was written by some John Bircher who, if they were a wiser organization, they would know better than to let that guy represent them. It wasn't really the John Birchers, but it might as well have been. It expected you to know names that caused a knee jerk reaction of some kind. It called charities "terrorist" without giving any information on who they are, why they're terrorists, what they believe, what they do with the money, or any other information other than the author called them terrorists. Maybe he's a terrorist.
Maybe I'm a terrorist. Maybe you're all terrorists. Oh god.
Then Pat asked me what I thought of it. I told him and we went into the first political discussion we've had since I've been up here. I told him that I didn't trust either of the two candidates who actually have a chance. I told him it reminded me of 1972 (the Democrats running an "anybody but the incumbent" campaign with a candidate that nobody likes.) I told him that I'd rather see Bush out of office but I don't think Kerry has my best interests at heart. I told him that I didn't even trust Nader anymore and I didn't know what I was going to do in the voting booth. Maybe just cry.
I told him that I didn't trust anyone who wanted to go into politics. The ones who've done awful things I hate and the ones who haven't had the chance to yet I mistrust.
Pat thought about that for a minute. He said, "Hey, that's how you are with churches too, isn't it?"
I was surprised but I had to agree. Then he said, "And that's kind of how you are with people in general, isn't it?"
I think he meant new people that I haven't known for years, but I saw his point. And that's something I need to work on because I do think it's a bad thing. Or at least something I should be more selective on when I use it.
That's why I researched candidates today.
I like Cobb. I'm still interested in Nader mainly because I like Camejo, but I no longer see Nader as an idealist. I think he's another politician, but one who happens to be the one who says things that I agree with in order try to get people like me to like him. I think about Kerry because I think about checking the news websites in November and finding that Bush defeated Kerry by one vote. My vote. Hey, it could happen. But when I think about Kerry I want to climb in bed with a pint of ice cream and stay there for a week. Which I suppose is better than Bush who makes me want to climb under the bed and do the same.
But my point here, what I'm driving at and the reason I've brought up a subject I shy away from as much as possible, is that I came to a realization. I've been looking at this same situation for years and wondering when the paradigm shift is going to come and make it so that it's not about choosing evils. The conversation with Pat made me realize it's high time I shifted my own paradigma and stopped being so jaded about everything.
There is a phoenix waiting to rise out of me and when it does none of this crap will matter. I think in the last few months you've seen a little shift in my thinking, especially since the identity crisis right before my Orange County trip. I think the phoenix hasn't burned out yet, but I think I've figured out how to play with matches in the past few months.
Now let's put this behind us and never think of this again. Study war no more.

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