Saturday, September 27, 2003

I just wrote a story that expounds upon the message of the Gospels, is completely psychotic, and terribly heartwarming. And boy, are my eyes tired.

Friday, September 26, 2003

Reading: Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris. She's my favorite contemplative author. It takes me weeks to read a book by her. The Cloister Walk, the one about living with monks, changed my life. This one is a fantastic read as well. Although, I was going to start reading my first Kinky Friedman book, but I guess that's getting bumped.
Watching: Immortal Beloved. Anybody else notice that the film is structured just like Citizen Kane? Good though.
Listening to: "Play Each Morning Wild Queen" by the Flash Girls. And let me just say that if you've never heard the Flash Girls, you're really missing out.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Jam packed full day.
Got some great finds for my inventory at the library. Visited Charles. Cleared the rest of the dead flowers from the garden. Put the inventory online. Talked to Pat who sounded exhausted but still spent most of the conversation talking about how concerned he is about mom. He's got an enormous heart. Talked to Nissa too. She's been working very hard.
After dinner I went for a walk and then went out and wrote for a while.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003


I know I haven't written word one on this recall election. Mainly because I shy away from politics because they make me very very angry. But this is my place to sort things out, so here goes.

So, Arnold used to beat me up on the playground and shout me down in high school classes, call me "fag" in the halls between classes. I remember him now.

Watching McClintock (the politician, not the western) I thought, "Wow. This guy might be the most intellegent person on the stage and the only one with the guts to take a strong stand. He's everything I would love in a politician except that I absolutely disagree with him on every point."

Huffington (who I always think of her name said in the voice of the Sorting Hat from the Harry Potter films) really tore me in half. There are points that I agree with her. There are points on which I disagree. But I had a hard time seeing the other candidates with her and Arnold's ego being onstage together. But on the other side of that, as I said to Charles, if she were as quiet, polite and well behaved as Camejo she would have been allowed to speak less than half as much as Camejo was (sorry for the run on.) And as Charles replied, the great thing about Huffington was that she actually got to take a bunch of cathartic digs. In short, it's about time to see some more strong female figures running our society. I'm just more than a little sorry when I see them resorting to the well established tactics to get there.

I'm highly likely to vote for Camejo again. This time he might actually have a chance besides just being "voting my conscience." Plus it'd be neat to see a Green in a high ranking office to see if they really live up to the astoundingly great things they say.

But halfway through the debate, I began to think "Oh my dear Lord. I have to vote for Bustamante." Because if he loses the right will win. There he sat through the debate like a rock with the voice of a guy who does guided meditations for a living. How could I dance with another? Which reminds me of my idea. He should get Tone Loc to sing "Just Bustamante" to the tune of "Just Bust a Move." That would bring me over. A video commercial with Cruz dancing in a club with his suit jacket off.
But it's the same problem I'm having with next year's presidential. I've decided that I'm gonna go democrat even if it's the worst democrat running (which would be either Leiberman or Kerry.)
In case you're keeping score, this is exactly what the democrats want people like me to think. Hence the evil.
For those of you who don't know, I hate the democrats and I hate the republicans. But in totally different ways. The republicans I hate like I hate murder or rape. Even in my darkest hour I held no love for these things. They are against everything I hold as being compassionate and striving to be a decent human being.
But the democrats I hate like I hate Anne Rice. When I was young, I loved Anne Rice because I saw so much potential. But then I kept getting burned over and over until I came to hate what I once loved.
Like I hate the church because to me it was once the place where everyone was striving for a friendly and peaceful world. The clergy was benevolent and I held them as people that I could trust. Then I got older and things turned more and more to the opposite. Or my eyes opened a little wider.
So, I don't wanna vote for Bustamante because I sure as hell don't trust him. But then, these days on a national level I find myself nostalgic for the Clinton administration. And that administration sucked.
Vote democrat: Because things could always get worse.

Needless to say, I'm still thinking very seriously about voting for Mary Carey.
Or maybe I'll just take a coin into the booth with me. Or, in this case, one of those many sided die that you use in D & D.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Thanks to H.L. Mencken of all authors.
Actually, I quick before bed check of tonight's sales revealed that I've now sold as much this week as the refunded book cost. So I've broke even this week and it's Tuesday.
I was angry for the first part of the day. Actually, I was pretty well adjusted at first, but then I got cut off by a yuppie pinhead in a parking lot. I dwelt on that for a while.
Also we're on the rollercoaster of my family life right now. Last night my brother expected Jonathan to pass on in the night. Pat said that Jonathan stopped breathing in the night and was only breathing very shallowly until he went to sleep. Today Jonathan was fine. He was feeding and doing well. So I've bought a seven day feeder for my fish and took my videos back to the library in case I have to go to Chico for a funeral this weekend. Maybe I will have to, maybe I wont.
Then I got home and found out that I had to refund a book. It's happened once before and I never feel good about it. It either means that the customer is dishonest or that the mail system is incompetent. Plus it's been a really slow sales week and the book was worth more than I've made so far this week.
It was that point when I realized that I might do well to take a short nap. I felt a lot better afterwards. I wasn't angry anymore. Sometimes I need something that makes me take a step away to let the anger go.
Then, I got some really gorgeous art books for inventory.

Monday, September 22, 2003

The reading went very well. I just let go and roared out all the pent up energy I had. Like a hydrant it came. It went very well.
I made back about half of what I spent on printing of the chapbooks. Sold a nice amount. Also got some tips on who to send them to in order to get reviews.
Very good reading.
Reading is tonight. Preparing. Last minute editing. Trying to drum and read at the same time.