Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I woke up this morning chomping at the bit to go. I was going to ride my bicycle to the court house to pay off my ticket and then come back to tackle the piles of work I've got to do. I went out and found my back bicycle tire flat. The bike pump had a huge hole in the hose. So, pissed off, I started walking.
I also learned that the police don't seem to feel a sense of urgency in getting their tickets put into their computers. The lady at the window advised me to come back "in a week or two" and see if the ticket was inputted by then. Wow.
So, no longer pissed off after a half an hour walk, I picked up some inventory and went home.
I went to Trader Joe's, then to wash my grandmother's windows, then back home to do all the real work, the money making work I had to do.
Around two-thirty I began to drag. I sat down with a glass of water and fell deep into my chair, where I woke up an hour later.
I've been having strange dreams lately. I think it's because I haven't been sleeping very deep on account of my sinuses being ornery. The other night I had a dream that I was looking out the back window and saw a Cambodian baby from next door standing on the backyard fence when a possum came along and bit him. He screamed and I woke up. I didn't go back to sleep right away because I didn't want to continue that dream. When I did go back to sleep I dreamt that I was laying next to a guy I knew in college. He asked me why I was interested in a homosexual relationship. I told him that I was just lonely and couldn't get any other kind of relationship. I woke up a little scared, wondering about latent homosexual tendancies that I'd missed somewhere in my comprehensive exploration of my sexuality. Then I thought, "Having a dream that shows homosexuality doesn't make me a homosexual any more than having a dream about a kid being eaten by a possum makes me want to see a kid get eaten by a possum."
It's true. I don't want either. In fact, the dream probably came from a conversation Phish and I had the other day where we were talking about how my best friend in high school was a homosexual and my best friend (pre-Nissa) in college was a post op transgender. And in the course of the conversation it came up that I and most people around me see me as having complete confidence in my heterosexuality without any qualms about being around or good friends with people of other sexuality. Like I'm well adjusted sexually. So my dreams must have felt the need to make mischief towards that confidence.
The next night I had a dream that I was on Rodeo Drive. I've only been there in waking hours once. The looks I got made me feel like when Falstaff crashes Henry's coronation. I think much the same happened in my dream. So, I left in disgust and started back for my car. On the way I met a skinny red haired woman who stuttered. She was trying to ask me something but I fell madly in love with her and she with me. We went off to have adventures and solve mysteries together. So, in essence another "I'm lonely" dream.
Then last night I dreamt I was with Charles, Phish, Yod and Jessica at a Phish the band concert. We were right by the stage lip and Trey kept talking to us while he was playing. I know he was explaining to us each how the Gamehenge story was prophetic to each of our life situations, but I forgot what he said when I woke up. Or maybe it was Harpua.
I know that Trey was in the back of my mind because the other day when I was playing with the Ahmish, Yod let me play his guitar for a while. I had always noticed how Trey has bad posture when he plays. When I got the guitar on me I noticed that I was naturally falling into that same bad posture.

I don't know why, but I felt like getting that out here. And that's all I have to say. Sorry I wasn't really going anywhere with all of that... except maybe that I should go visit Rodeo Drive again.

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