Tuesday, December 02, 2003

I come from worrying stock. My mother's a worrier, my grandmother's even more of a worrier and so on reaching back through the ether of time. Written upon my genes it is.
By nature I am perhaps a worrier, but by choice I'm a rhinoceros who loves a challenge. Overcoming my worry and negativity is a challenge that I work with every day. I've worked myself into a head space where I'm pretty good at avoiding it, but I still slip up on occasion.
I tell you all of this to lead up to a small, real life parable that has played its self out in the past 24 hours. So, I was looking over the mail from Thanksgiving (one of my bad habits is that I'll sometimes let mail sit for days before looking at it) and I found a note from my student loan enforcement office. I had asked a month ago for them to lower my payment by a little and, after they heard how much I make in a month, they decided to lower it by a lot. I assume that they agreed to this because I've paid on time and the full or sometimes more amount every month. They sent me a form to sign. Then, yesterday, I received the form back saying that I needed to send a copy of my last pay stub.
I don't print myself up pay stubs. That'd be silly and a waste of tree flesh. And, adjusting for the new lower amount, I spent and factored in the car payment and the speeding ticket into my budget for December. If I were to still have to pay the full student loan amount in December because they didn't tell me I needed a pay stub in the first place, I could honestly tell my loan people that they ruined Christmas.
So, off I went to the Liquid Den, worrying about how I was going to tighten my belt to get this paid. Also going over what I would say to the loan people on the phone. Then a little voice said, "You're not on the phone, you're in the car going to a poetry reading. It's like breaking up with Nissa or the time a customer claimed they didn't receive the book they bought, it sucks but there's not a damned thing you can do about it right now. So right now enjoy the poetry reading."
And lucky for me it was one of the best darned poetry readings I've seen in weeks. Matthew Niblock blew the roof off the joint.
This morning I called Nelnet Ministry of Loan Repayment and they said, "No problem. Send us a letter assuring us what's average monthly income. Since there was a screw up, you don't have to pay December's payment at all at all if you don't want to."
So, the lesson for me is that I should really take notice when how much faith working is so apparent because that will help me through the times that faith working is not apparent at all at all.


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